Archive for the ‘Mood’ Category

The world I meant to be

Tuesday, September 16th, 2008

Got an ephipany. I can write something. Recently, I’ve been thinking on why am I suddenly crossing into social and economic/marketing side of the internet. Coming from technical background, the root of why Social is interesting would have been the mashup part. An the economic and marketing stuff may come up because I want to build something on my own feet. It’s a necessity to validates myself and thoughts. Yet, I cannot still believe how far away I am from what I had been before migrating to Jakarta.

I don’t write nor play with much code anymore. New libraries and frameworks are just news and not for touching. I left OSNews and Slashdot, read more on RWW and friends. Why? It doesn’t mean that I don’t love Javascript or PHP anymore. PHP is my bread and butter, literally.

I suspect it’s time management that has casted me on this stranger land. A world where I must crawl again to carve my existence. I feel very “bloon” in this side of the cyber. The one hour to go to office and another hour to go home left me with no energy but to read. And reading is what I’ve been doing. No code involved so mind twisting and logic bending is the new toy.

Maybe it will get me somewhere. But I’m quite afraid that I’ll end up having no speciality as I’ve come late in the race. Everyone is running and I am still looking for my shoe.

Is this really the world I want to be? Is this the world I meant to be?

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Nyebelin

Tuesday, February 19th, 2008

Disclaimer:
Curhat ahead. Nothing significant unless you like ’snack’ story. Or if you seasonally, somehow, want to be cursed.

Pagi ini di busway nyebelin sekali. Ibu-ibu kantoran bermuka garang bertanya: “Turun senen gk? Klo gk, gantian (geser) sama saya sini”. Gak ada raut meminta tolong, lebih seperti memerintah. Saya jawabnya ya innocent sajalah: “Enggak ..”. Kemudian saya geser. Eh, gk ada terimakasih juga. Sebel banget gk sih.

Lebih sebel lagi pas saya mikir. Mungkin ibu tadi udah manggil-manggil atau berisyarat pada saya beberapa kali. tapi mungkin saya tidak tanggap. Apa sebab? Karena telinga saya tersumbat headset (lagi denger Amafurase-nya Kagrra,) plus tutup jumper sedang saya pakai gara-gara saya berdiri pas di bawah hembusan AC. Sebel saja karena malah saya merasa bersalah dan tidak bisa meluapkan kekesalan akibat mendapat perlakuan tidak santun.

Lebih sebel lagi waktu mikir, wah nanti bakal ada banyak yang bialng saya tidak santun karena memakai tutup telinga sewaktu di tempat umum. Jika saya santun seharusnya saya tidak rapat2 nutup telinganya. Saya berarti harus bertoleransi meskipun tidak nyaman berdiri terbengong di dalam busway supaya saya bsia tanggap kalau ada yang memanggi-manggil saya.

Ya enak juga kalau semua juga berlaku seperti itu. Saya ndak keberata. Lah kalao saya doang yang mikir gitu, bisa-bisa muka saya yang imut ini akan mengalami akselerasi penuaan dini akibat jalanan jakarta. Anjing! Nah loh. Gw kasih kata-kata yang sudah saya pendam beberapa waktu ini. Brengsek!

Spaced out

Monday, February 4th, 2008

I feel somewhat weird today. There’s something missing. I’m feeling a space but don’t really know what it is. Deadlines are gone. There’s nothing appears on TODO list (yes, I’ve just received some, just now). It’s a great time to play with all those toys on the web. Social Graph API, etc. But somehow, I’m not really in a good mood today. My eyes feel a bit heavy. Slipknot seems to be dancing happily with me. The cloud is gloomy.

I’m missing my Exia. My Ubuntu is fucking making me mad. And I need to boot into Windows to work on my TODOS.

F***!! (Rebooting)

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